Sunday Meditation New Year's Resolution and Passing on the Good 12/24/23

 Sunday Meditation

December 24st, 2023

New Year's Resolution and Passing on the Good

 

We  look at the start of a new calendar year as a good time to “better ourselves”,  by resolving to make changes in our habits,  relationships, boundaries,and aspects of our daily routine.  Much of what is written after these resolutions are made is how we fail so miserably at these attempts.  One could easily conclude we are forever stuck in a rut we are incapable of climbing out from.  That conclusion is wrong.

It should be our desire to grow continually, right up until we die.   Whatever your age, the commitment to “be a better person” on the day of your death, than you were the day prior, has the makings of a great new year resolution.  We do not know the circumstance nor the day of our death, that should provide impetus to stick with it.  As a better person, I can like myself and treat myself better.  I can understand  and treat those around me more humanely. As a better person, I contribute more to my community, my country and lastly to humankind. 

I can be a better parent, passing on the things that I got right and snuffing out those negative behaviors that might run in my family down through the generations.   That is no small thing.

It can be difficult to look at one’s ancestors objectively, we all suffer from the temptation to cast them only in a favorable light.  There’s a multitude of reasons our ancestors contributed to who we are that just go unexamined.  But when you look at your ancestors, what are some of the attributes other people might attribute to your “Family Name”?  Think about it; “I never met an XX who didn’t have a temper”, “I never met a XX who could save a dime”, “XX are good on their word”, “XX’s come from a long line of rigorous  preachers”.  “XX’s have a long history of poor marriages”.    

There are a multitude of behaviors that are especially common in specific families through the generations. A child sees his dad dancing in the kitchen with mom many times before he leaves and marries.  He thinks dancing in the kitchen with his wife is the normal thing to do and his kids see him dancing with mom and then they too think it's the way things are done, and they too will dance with their future wives and it goes on generation to generation. Unfortunately, the same can be said for the small child  who repeatedly sees his father belittling and shaming his mother in the kitchen.  Choose well the memories you give your children.

The multiplier effect

“Being a better person” is good in and of itself.  But the real impact can be much larger than that.  Think of the attributes of “Being a better person” as the attributes of a virus.  Since these attributes are positive, we find ourselves in the situation of desiring the virus to be contagious.  In fact we want people to be “carriers” of this virus.

A carrier is someone who examines their ancestors  and recognizes what the “things of importance” were that the ancestors passed to their offspring, and in turn what those offspring taught their kids up to the present day.  Was kindness for others a common thread, or was me-first the lesson?  What about other vices and virtues?

The carrier consciously resolves to stop doing things that the family historically supported but which fostered weak or sinful outcomes that just “run in the family” and were accepted. Likewise, the carrier identifies virtues the family wisdom contained and dutifully encourages the passing on to the following generations.

It is with this knowledge of the vices and the virtues that dad and mom resolve to combat the unintentional teaching, or supporting learned behavior that is  unhealthy, self centered, and sinful.  If you are considering a new year's resolution, what better than improving the future character of your family tree?  Your new year's resolution could be that the good virtues your ancestors were known for are taught and encouraged and the faults and sins that seem to repeatedly appear in your family tree are no longer fed and they are allowed to wither away.

bobb